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Newborn babies’ poop is so creamy and almost has no smell, sometimes it smells but the smell is ‘almost’ pleasant, like the smell of over-ripened food.

But wait until they started solid. Wait until they started their solid food and haven’t had any bowel movement for two or three days. I can only associate the smell with the smell of a dead animal that you found in a small and enclosed space and has been ‘cooked’ by the scorching sun for a few good days.

But from personal experience, along with that smell, you will also feel joy and relief. Even when the poop got all over your bed and body.

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Never felt so helpless. I was carrying Cassie because she’s been so fussy because of the fever. Kei came to the room around 12. I haven’t got a chance to prepare food for her. I asked her to play in her room because Cassie just fell asleep and I didn’t want her to wake up.

12.37 I wanted to give Kei a bowl of soup so she could eat by herself. But when I entered the room I saw her sleeping in a fetal position in a blanket. She hates sleeping with blanket, she would usually kick it off. She must have felt so cold and hungry.

Being a good mom is hard. Being a good mom for two is very very hard.

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My firsthand encounter with death of a family happened when I was about 5 or 6 y.o. A little bit older than Kei now. I still remember every part of it, like the taxi ride from our house to the airport, where my father took us on a flight back to Medan. Also how my little sister immediately cried on her top of her lungs when she entered my grandfather’s bedroom as he was saying his last words. And how my uncle begged my granpa and promised that he would be a better son and would treat my granma better.

I also remember how everyone in the room cried when my granpa took his last breath. Also the few nights of rituals and ceremonies in the house because during that time funeral home was not so common.

I wonder whether Kei would also remember these past few days. She was there when we did the rituals of closing the coffin. She was there looking at the lifeless body of her great granma. She was there during the whole process. When it was done she even asked if great granpa was there and if her great granma is happy now.

We didn’t take her to the crematorium today and I felt that we had made the right decision. We were emotionally and physically exhausted. Following suamipo’s family tradition, there will be a few more ceremonies and rituals to perform. It would be plenty of chances to let Kei understand the concept of life and death.

Let’s see if she would ask me to take her to the funeral home tomorrow after school like what we have done in these past few days. – at Heaven

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I’ve said this and I’m gonna say it again. Please please be mindful when you are interacting with kids and especially babies. I know sometimes it’s so hard to resist those chubby cheeks. The urge to touch or kiss them is always gonna be there. But please refrain yourself from doing so. If you really can’t fight the urge, you can always show your love by giving a peck on the back of their head. Also remember not to touch their hands because they put their hands in their mouths a lot. The parents would really appreciate it if you could at least wash/wipe your hands or face before touching the kids.

I’m saying this again because my baby was diagnosed with bronchiolitis today. It’s an acute inflammatory injury of the bronchioles. If you don’t remember your biology lesson, it’s an infection that effects tiny airways that leads to lungs.

Is it serious? Luckily, on Cassie’s case it’s somewhat manageable. It sure burnt a hole in my pocket to purchase a nebulizer. It had also led me to this sleep-deprived state because I haven’t slept properly since Monday. But nothing hurts more than seeing your baby crying in her sleep because she can’t breathe properly.

Kei has contracted the virus too today. But it doesn’t affect her as much as it affected Cassie. It’s looks like I’m gonna lose a few more kgs because of this. 😌😌

Don’t kiss/touch kids/babies near their nose, mouth and hand. You’re not gonna be the one who’s gonna take care of them when they’re sick.

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So I was driving #babypo to school this morning.

👧🏻 : What does titit mean?
👩🏻 : (Keeping calm and composed while internally screaming what the hell, we use the proper term for genitalia at home.) Hm? Where did you hear it?
👧🏻 : Miss Elia said it in the class. She said titit is a dot.
👩🏻 : (okay, she clearly misheard something.) Did Ms. Elia mean “titik”?
👧🏻: What is “titik”?
👩🏻: Titik is a dot. Sometimes you use it in the end of a sentence.
👧🏻 : (clearly frustrated) nooo. Not a dot. A DUCK.
👩🏻 : A duck? Oh! It’s “itik”! I-TIK.
👧🏻 : I-TIK!

A good five minutes later.

👩🏻 : How do you say duck in Bahasa Indonesia.
👧🏻: TITIT! NO! It’s ITIK.

Now, where’s my coffee? ☕️

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